And why this "holiday" just isn't my thing, usually.
I don't really do Valentines day.
As a general rule I find the holiday too commercialized and capitalistic to be worth spending the time and money most other couples do.
I don't really like jewelry, save for a few silver pieces I wear regularly. And flowers make me sad because they are dead and will eventually wither and perish. I think they are sweet, don't get me wrong, and I am always so grateful when I get them, but they wouldn't be first choice.
There's so much about this day that is over done and puts way too much pressure on men to go above and beyond for their wives/girl friends/fiancées/whatever. It's really not fair, and I have found that in this, like most other important days, the people in my past have failed to live up to my lowest of standards of hope.
A lot of that is on me, I own that. I shouldn't go into a day like this with hopes or expectations. As the years have gone by, I have learned to lower those expectations to nothing. It's easier that way.
So the 14th is a weird day for me.
Last year, on me and Tim's first ever Valentines day, I went all out for him.
My sister took the kids for the night and I had a lot of plans for that man.
Me and the boys made a ton of these hearts for him, filled with all of this favorite things. A lot of them even glowed in the dark.
I also had Five Guy delivered, we watched "Greenland," (great movie by the way, I love Girard Butler). It was a combination of his birthday and Valentines day. Our first together. I needed it to be a special as he is too me.
Roll to this year.
Money is tight, we're working on trying to get a place in Alaska, I was out of work for a few months, and Hayden's accident, despite the insurance has been quite costly.
I still went out and got him a wooden card, and the two boxes of candy you can see in the first picture. Nothing crazy, but I love him and I want him to always know that.
I did not expect anything. My previous relationships have prepared me to expect nothing.
The man found me a little cauldron for my alter.
I've lacked one forever.
I think I mentioned my need for one once, and he remember, found this, and got it for me. Along with a tin of candy that had Baby Yoda/ the Child/Grougu on it. I love tins. He has given me four tin containers of Moon Pies, (my favorite).
I am usually no a Valentines person, and a lot of that stems from the disappointment of the past. But now, with Tim, its like I'm seeing for the first time what marriage is supposed to be.
He loves me and he remembers these little things I say.
I've never felt happier or been more excited about a future than I have been with Tim.
Just more evidence that my husband is the best husband.