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Home? Dare we dream?

If you've been following the sight for a while you know that we have found and lost several houses as we pursue this crazy dream for homesteads. Several in Utah, and at least two out here in Alaska.

Tim and I always knew that homesteading would be hard, people always tell you that homesteading is one of the hardest things you can choose to do. It's the right choice for us, for our family, the environment, and for our own self-sufficiency. Part of what makes Tim and I so perfect for each other is that we both want and dream of the day where we can say we are truly self-sufficient.

Never in my wildest homesteading dreams did I imagine that just getting the property would be the hardest part!

It seemed like all the stories we read about or watched talked about people finding a piece of property and just knowing that was it and the story goes from there. That's when the struggle is supposed to start. That's when you start facing start up challenges, finance issues, and animal related madness.

Thats that's the hard part, not this.

It feels like we can't even get to the starting point of our dreams.

Maybe it's because I waited so long for Tim, (21-ish years), that I want us to start our lives together and begin this dream of ours.

If you've ever wanted to homestead and your partner has been less than thrilled by the concept of livestock and gardens, than you'll understand this. Being married to man that wanted nothing to do with everything that I wanted to do was devastating in a way that is difficult to put words to. I would spend hours in the yard getting the garden ready, turning the soil, drawing it all out, starting seeds, and generally just being so excited about it all that I wanted to share. But my first husband didn't really care about all that. And little by little, I started to care less also.

It's hard to do all the caring in a relationship.

Now I'm with the perfect guy, we're in the state of our dreams, and we still can't seem to catch a break.

We have found several houses over the few years we've been together. Each time we find the perfect house, we get super excited, I post about it, And then for whatever reason, they pass on us. Sometimes we don't get the application in on time and someone else get to it first. Or they wouldn't like our credit, or we would simply never hear from them.

It starts to get daunting, the constant hope.

We now find ourselves at the starting point again.

There is a house, it's not the biggest or the nicest, but it has a couple of acres, enough to get us started, and room to grow on.

The man we've spoken to has told us that we can lease the home and work toward buying it little by little.

After saving nearly every cent that wasn't allocated for bills, we're even within throwing distance of the 10k we need to get things going.

Except that everytime we talk to the guy, he has nothing to say. No hard dates, not move in timeline, he can't even tell us when we'd be able to see the house or be able to pay anything toward it.

So it's starting to feel a little sketchy.

I know the man who everything is running through. We've spoke a few times through my job and he is who he says he is. So I don't have much fear there.

But it does feel a little like we're just following the same pattern and at the end of the day, there will be no homestead.

Double edged sword, all this hope.

Who knows, maybe the sixth time will be the charm.

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